Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
