It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
