I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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