I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
