I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
