Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
