if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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