even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
