Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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