True but thats because hes a fetus.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
