don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
