Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
