Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
