she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am spending my child support on dildos
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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