I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
