how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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