Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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