Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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