just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
