And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
