life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Watching her eat just hurts me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
