So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I forgot how hot balto sounded
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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