i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
