Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
