Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
