I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
