i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she peed on how many people?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
