HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
