i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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