How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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