did you get engaged???
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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