Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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