The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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