she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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