my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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