you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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