I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
