she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
