hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
