Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
