youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
