I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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