i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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