Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
