Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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