True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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