How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
