i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
