K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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