I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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